Change is sometimes a difficult thing to grasp. Lately, I’m learning that change is really hard. It’s hard to set a pattern of behaviors and then be tossed into a mess where you have to change your patterns. My daughter turned 18 and being on the autism spectrum, I only see a glimpse of what life is like for her. Everything is pushing her into change, but she resists that change. I’m more able to adapt, but I still sometimes dig in my heels too.
Last week, I got a crown on a cracked tooth. I was dreading it so much. For starters, the crack only ever hurt when I bit on in it wrong. But the dentist warned it would be better to get it fixed now than after it chips off in my mouth. Then I’d be in real pain. So I took his advice, sat in the chair for an hour while they drilled and used a computer to make the impressions–all the while my mouth held open and numbed with Novocaine. I just wanted it to get over with. Then I came back several hours later and got the actual crown put on (which hurt like hell because of my sensitivity to cold) and then I was off to go home and lick my wounds.
Sometimes these things just don’t cooperate though. After 5 days of popping ibuprofen, I called to see if I could have the dentist look at it again. I was waking up with major pain in my jaw and shooting into my ear and giving me a headache. It was (and still is) horrible! So he shaved some of the tooth down and gave me some fluoride to deal with the sensitivity. It seemed better, but I went to bed and the throbbing pain returned. I sobbed like an insane woman to my husband, “I don’t want a root canal!” and then cried like a baby. And I still feel that way. I don’t want any more tools in my mouth or drilling or visits to the dentist.
The Fear of Change
After all of that, I now am trying to rule out TMJ first. But, the whole point of that story is to say, sometimes it’s really hard to deal with change. We fear what we don’t know. We don’t want to step into the unknown. Or we guess that things will go well and then they become bigger than we expect. Sometimes these things take on a life of their own.
Change has come into my life and has put my creativity to a stop. This really irritates me, if I’m being honest. I want to keep learning and growing, but instead, I’m dealing with aches and pains and dental visits. My time has been sucked away from me temporarily and I’m trying to adapt, but it leaves little room for creativity.
Celebrating the Things We Can Do
Before the “tiara” got put on my tooth, I had a fun time decorating my office though. I wanted to share it all with you in a better way, but I suppose this will have to do. These are just a few of the things I tried in my office and I ended up loving how it looks.
These are some feather decals I ran along one of the walls on top. I liked how it added some color to the gray walls.
This is a little sparkly decor and some butterfly decals I put underneath. It sparkles on to the wall when the sun hits it. This is my favorite thing so far in the room. It’s kind of dumb, but I fall for lights and sparkles I guess.
This is a crazy owl painting I did. I’m not good at painting, but this was fun. And I did hang it up in my room for some color, but I know–I’m NO picasso! It’s still fun to try new things. If I get any better, I’ll hang up a different painting instead.
I might not be as actively creating as I want to be right now, but I’m thankful I was able to do some things. I’m hoping to do much more as soon as this tooth thing is resolved. Sometimes you just have to go with the flow and do what you can. Creativity never flies away. It returns and we can pick up where we left off.
I appreciate the times I’m able to create, learn, and grow. I am grateful even more during the times I’m not able to because I realize just how much it helps me and keeps me grounded and uplifted.
How well do you adapt to change? Do you fight it or embrace it?
Happy Creating (or waiting to create)!